Armor of Positivity

 Grandma was out to make my life terrible as usual, just like every other day. Nothing I ever do seems to satisfy my grandmother, who was certain that I would end up becoming exactly what she expects of me. By “expect,” I mean either I may have a child with an unidentified father, become a prostitute, or at the very least, drop out of high school.

Nevertheless, I left her a note today like I do every day, regardless of the fact that she had just finished thrashing me with a broom and I still had spiral marks on my body as a signatory of the thrashing.

That morning, as I was cleaning my grandma's room, her beautiful and most priceless bangles flew out after being propelled forward by the broom. I bowed my stiff back, as my grandma would say, and used my lethargic, useless hands in her words  to sweep away the area under her bed.

My grandma thinks I am incredibly lazy and that I might even be more lazy than the proverbial tortoise so, lazy me decided to leave the bangles until I got to the front and picked them up, but “the head that will receive a knock even when he puts on a feathered hat, an evil spirit will push him until he removes the hat,” so, I  received the knock I suppose I deserved on my head that morning. You should have seen the emotion on Granny's face as well as the James bond movement to take up the broom and how it landed on my head to my feet when she stepped on her bangles like there was nothing else to step on. Broom beating always appears to look like a demon is being sent out of your body, and I definitely felt that way.

After my thrashing, I walked to a chair and wrote my grandmother a letter as usual since every little mistake I make, makes her angry because, it confirms her negative opinion of who she sees in me and a good thrashing would just make her feel better.

My only way to ever speak to her was through my letters. Although, it earns me exercises in forms of beating, I will still try to tell her what I feel about me.

  Dear grandmother,

I am aware that nothing I do  will ever make you happy since every day you look to me in the hopes that your pessimistic thoughts would come true. However, I hope to disappoint you because I hope to be better than people who inspired your pessimistic thoughts and what you have in mind. I'm not like them; I'm unique.

She has seen it, and as usual, she has just concluded another round of pounding. However, let me tell you that nothing can beat of my optimism about who I will become, not even my grandmother's constant beatings and hurling of insults so, nothing should beat yours too.

You may think mine is a different shade from yours maybe but one certain thing is we both are facing a difficult time that is trying to pull our backs to the ground but we won't let that happen right?

My dear, just as I won't permit my grandmother to define my life, allowing individuals to define your life based on their position in it is a NO.

My dear, just as I won't let my grandmother rub off her negativity on me, neither should you.

You were made with a purpose, and you alone—not circumstances, not your parents, nor your friends—should decide what that is.

Because you have  just disappointed yourself if you let those define you or what you make out of life, I sincerely hope you get up, shake off that negativity, and don an armor of optimism.

I hope to see you at the top, not crushed but conquering after all “we are more than conquerors”

-Ayinke the skinny one